Genes
by Anushka
Summary: NS pairing. After all those years Sara hears from her brother again, but it isn’t what she wants to hear. Written as a Nick and Sara POV.


**Disclaimer**: Not mine, never has been, never will be.

**A/N**: Edited to get rid off stupid mistakes. I have been wondering about Sara's brother a lot. Sometimes I think the writers totally forgot they gave her one in "One Hit Wonder". I just wanted to write something about this brother we know nothing about and I even had a whole story planned out, but somehow this turned out to be a totally different story.

**Pairing**: N/S

* * *

**Genes**

_Nick_

The telephone rings and he instantly reaches over to answer. It's early in the afternoon and he has been awake a while now just watching his wife laying next to him sleeping peacefully, as peaceful as possible that is.

He knows it won't be Grissom calling. Grissom avoids any interaction with him. Any interaction which will remind him of the current situation which is that he is married to Sara and Grissom isn't. Grissom will not run the risk of getting him on the phone, he always calls Sara on her cell phone whenever he needs her, which is quite often, but he doesn't complain. He can't complain. He isn't proud of how things turned out, although he is proud that Sara wanted him, that she trusted him enough to share her life with him, but it doesn't give him any satisfaction to know he has caused his mentor so much pain.

Most of all he hates not being able to work with Sara anymore just because Grissom can't handle it and also because Catherine seems to think it is a big mistake to interact with the night shift. Marrying one of them must have been an act of utter betrayal in her eyes.

He tries to keep his voice down while answering the phone hoping Sara will stay asleep, so she can get at least a couple of hours sleep before another shift starts. It is a lost cause, because he can see her eyes flutter open from the corners of his eyes. The person calling wants to talk to her, asking for Sara Sidle. Just seconds ago he was preparing to say she isn't available, but that isn't necessary anymore as she has propped herself up on one arm, looking at him, probably wanting to know who is calling them at this hour. Everyone who could be calling them knows they are asleep most of the time at this hour.

Before he passes her the phone, he softly brushes his lips against the palm of her hand which is stretched out to grab hold of the phone. He watches her sit up and turn away from him. He hears her say "Sara Stokes" and it fills him with pride that she took his last name against all expectations.

_Sara_

She feels Nick watching her and even though she won't admit it she still feels a bit uncomfortable when he is openly staring at her. She answers the phone with her new name "Sara Stokes". The name and of course the person behind the name have changed her life for the better. She always wanted to get rid of the name Sidle. It reminded her of the person who gave her that name. The person who gave her half of his genes and made her wonder if one of those genes might be an abuser gene or a murder gene. Losing that name made it feel like she lost those genes as well.

The person on the phone verifies if she is the person he is looking for as he is looking for a Sara Sidle. She hesitantly admits she is, still wondering what this person wants from her. He has introduced himself as an attorney and in her line of work she comes across attorneys daily, but none of them has ever called her at home and it makes her slightly uncomfortable.

Nick has started trailing his fingers up and down her arm. Normally she would give him hell over such a gesture while she is talking on the phone, but right this moment it gives her the support she needs as the attorney continues to explain he is calling for one of his clients. A client who happens to be her brother, Michael Sidle. It is a name and a person she thought she would never come across again.

It's not that she has never thought about him, wondered what happened to him, tried to find out where he was, because she has and now he has found her. He needs her to be exact. Before she can get any details, the attorney has tricked her into meeting with him later that day. After putting down the phone she doesn't move from the edge of the bed, she doesn't get back into bed and she feels Nick getting up behind her. He knows her so well, because he doesn't say a thing and wraps his arms around her, waiting for her to tell him what is wrong.

Michael. He needs her. Just like she needed him so many years ago. She needed him to take her away from the hell she was living in. Sometimes she thinks she still needs him, needs him to tell her what happened really was as bad as she remembers it, that it wasn't just a figment of her imagination, but she always realizes that he got away just before things got really ugly, just before the trips to the hospital were not just for her mother anymore. He left before the trips to the hospital were for her more often than for her mother.

Over the years she tried to hate him, but she never could, not really anyway. She doesn't know what she would have done, she doesn't exactly know what he went through while growing up. He is seven years older than her, maybe the hell she was born into already was a hell before she was even created. Most likely it was.

_Nick_

Softly she starts to tell him what the person on the phone, who turns out to be the attorney of her brother, has told her. He has to strain to hear everything she is saying, but he doesn't dare to interrupt her. Over the years she has told him bits and pieces, recreating the awful story of her childhood, a childhood that wasn't.

As she finishes telling him about the telephone conversation, she turns to him, tears apparent in her eyes. He cups her face into his hands and tells her he will go with her to the meeting with the attorney. He tells her she shouldn't do this on her own. He sees the hesitation in her eyes, but he will not back down. Work can wait, life can wait for that matter if she needs him and she needs him, he knows she does, just like he needs her.

The hours go by slowly and he watches her pace the living room, but he doesn't say a thing. He sits quietly and observes her, wondering what is going through her mind. Most of the time he knows what is going on in her head, but sometimes she just closes off and he has no idea what she is thinking.

He gets up to call Catherine, to let her know he won't be coming in tonight. He tells her his wife needs him. Catherine isn't happy, she tells him she knew that this would happen. He tells her he knows she did.

_Sara_

She listens to the conversation Nick is having with Catherine. She never planned for this to happen, she never planned for the people she worked with to be just the people she worked with and not her friends anymore. Life at the lab has been difficult. Different camps have been formed: Nick and her, Greg and her, Warrick and Catherine, Grissom and well Grissom and Warrick and Nick. She is grateful for that last camp. She is grateful Nick didn't lose Warrick. She misses Warrick, but understands his loyalty to Catherine.

The drive to the restaurant where they will be meeting the attorney is spent in silence. Nick has reached over and holds her hand in his own. In a slow rhythm he traces circular patterns on the back of her hand. It is soothing, comforting and she wishes they could sit like this in their car forever, just driving, no particular destination in mind.

Too soon for her liking they arrive at the restaurant. Nick looks at her and asks her if she is ready. He tells her she doesn't have to do this. She tells him she needs to, she needs to know what happened to the only person partially sharing her genes.

Nick knows about her fears about the abuser gene and the murder gene and she knows he is probably scared to death that this meeting will confirm her irrational thoughts on this topic.

As they enter the restaurant a young man gets up and introduces himself as Michael's attorney. Before she can introduce Nick and herself, he tells her her brother was right, she doesn't look like Michael. He tells her Michael said he was glad she looked like both their parents, that he thanked God every night that his sister was a mixture and not a copy of one of their parents like he is. That he was grateful she doesn't have to look into the mirror and hate herself.

She doesn't respond and doesn't look at Nick who is staring at her, because he knows that over the years there were so many other reasons why she hated herself. He knows that she has started to like herself just recently.

_Nick_

He wishes the young attorney in front of them would get to the point as he feels Sara getting tenser by the second.

When he finally gets to the point, Nick wants to stop him as he starts to say that Michael has inherited the abuser gene, that his childhood has molded him into someone he wouldn't be if he would have grown up in a different environment, but Sara gently squeezes his leg telling him she wants to know, she needs to know.

The story unravels in front of them and tells them that Michael has become the same abuser his father was and the same murderer his mother became.

The young attorney tells them they need Sara to testify in Michael's behalf, to tell the jury about their unfortunate childhood, to tell the jury that Michael wasn't as fortunate as her.

Nick detests that remark and when he is about to say something about it, he hears Sara say she won't do it. She won't testify. She says she knows enough about the system to know the records will be enough to paint the picture of their childhood. She says she doesn't know enough about genetics and environmental influences to be certain that something like a murder gene or an abuser gene does or does not exist, but she does know that she grew up in the same environment, that she saw her mother kill her father. She tells him that are no excuses, none whatsoever.

She gets up and tells the man still sitting in front of her that she hopes Michael will get help, that she hopes that he will be able to turn his life around. She grabs his hand and they walk away.

On the way back he wonders if she believed half the things she said. He prays she does, he really prays she does.

**END**


End file.
